IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003.

The table gives information on the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of employment patterns
fot
Correct your spelling
for
 both women and men in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003. In
1993
Punctuation problem
1993,
show examples
 the employment patterns of manufacturing for
males
Use synonyms
 were 55 %, but it was followed by a slight decrease to 52 % in 2003. The building just started at 68 %, but it was fallen down to 60 % in 2003.
Use synonyms
Males
Check wording
Males'
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 employment
commerce
Change preposition
in commerce
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 for
males
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 about 45 % in 1993, and it
was
Verb problem
apply
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increased to 50 % in 2003. The services
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 about 14 % , and despite
this
Linking Words
decrease
Add a comma
decrease,
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 it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased notably to 40 % in 2003. The IT just started
80
Change preposition
at 80
show examples
 %, but it was followed by a considerable drop to
70
Correct your spelling
70%
 in 2003.
when
Fix capitalization
When
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 it comes to farming for
Use synonyms
males
Punctuation problem
males,
show examples
 it was 75 % in 1993 , and dropped to 65 % in 2003. In 1993, manufacturing patterns for females just started at 45 %, and it increased
48
Change preposition
to 48
show examples
 % in 2003. The building commerce
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grew
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the years,
while
Linking Words
 the commerce
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 farming was 25 % and it was followed by a slight
rose
Replace the word
rise
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 to 35 %
n
Correct your spelling
in
 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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