IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling goods are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is argued that
newly
Replace the word
new
show examples
 methods of buying and selling products
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
show examples
 new technologies are converting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers
Check wording
consumers'
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
. I believe
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is
trasforming
Correct your spelling
transforming
 the
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 way of living in a good and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast way.
Also
Linking Words
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 their
lives
Use synonyms
 easier.  On one hand, using technologies and online shopping can make people's
lives
Use synonyms
 easier and
fast
Replace the word
faster
show examples
. You can shop
anything
Change preposition
for anything
show examples
 at
anytime
Use the right word
any time
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can be delivered within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 days and in some cases on the same day of your order
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the shopping platform.
For example
Linking Words
, Amazon nowadays is the main and popular application to shop from, as it offers
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 options and all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customer needs.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 saves time nowadays for humans
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not really have time to go shopping
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the main reason why people shifted to online shopping and rely on it. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
, selling goods online is a fast
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
, and advertising the product online can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a maximum
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of buyers.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are many platforms, applications and
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 that people can
put
Verb problem
use
show examples
 and advertise their products
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and all product
deteils
Correct your spelling
details
 can be added
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 the
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 with the product owner can be
reachable
Replace the word
reached
show examples
 if any
further
Linking Words
inquieries occure
Correct your spelling
inquiries occur
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that online shopping and selling products
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
show examples
 new technology is converting
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
 in a better and efficient way and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their
lives
Use synonyms
.

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content
Balance your view. Add one point on the bad side or limits of online buying.
language
Fix spelling and make grammar clear so it is easy to read.
planning
Plan your answer: intro, two small ideas, then a strong end.
content
Give one or two extra examples beyond one site (like a shop or a service).
strength
The writing shows a clear view that tech can make life faster and easier.
strength
You give a real example (Amazon) to support your point.
structure
You try to use linking words to move ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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