IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweighs the disadvantages?

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With
fast
Correct article usage
a fast
show examples
 lifestyle pattern
individual
Punctuation problem
, individual
show examples
 attend to eat quick
meals
Use synonyms
 more than before
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is A will clarify why the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. People
consuming
Verb problem
are consuming
show examples
 outside
food
Use synonyms
 more because
it's save
Wrong verb form
it saves
show examples
 more time and effort
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
, in the long term
it's
Punctuation problem
, it's
show examples
 coast expensive value on physical and mental health. People with busy life is style prefer to eat in
restaurant
Correct article usage
a restaurant
show examples
 after
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 day full of
task
Check wording
tasks
show examples
 and stress,
therefore
Linking Words
 they
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
like to enjoy their
means
Check wording
time
show examples
 with their coworkers to save time
that spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on
for the
Change preposition
apply
show examples
preparation
,
Punctuation problem
. Moreover
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
, they define sharing
means
Check wording
meals
show examples
 with their colleagues,
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
 them to discuss worker related Shots and solve work issues together. For
instant
Use the right word
instance
show examples
,
Linking Words
according to
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 study
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
published by the United States of America
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
shows 65% of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 depend on
take away
Correct your spelling
take-away
meals
Use synonyms
 during work hours.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, junk
food
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
 the first factor to deteriorate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-being.
And
Change preposition
In
show examples
 other
word Diet with a high concentration of carb
Correct word order
words, a diet with a high concentration of
show examples
 saturated
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
fat
Check wording
fats
show examples
 and
full of
Correct word choice
high
show examples
 sugar may result high chance of mortality and morbidity. For
instant
Use the right word
instance
show examples
, the boss majority of obesity related disorder, resulted by over eating of unbalanced
meals
Use synonyms
 that cause a heart attack and high cholesterol in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 blood additional to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
disorder
Check wording
disorders
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
Alzheimer
Check wording
Alzheimer's
show examples
 disease.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 diseases cause billion dollars
annual
Change preposition
in annual
show examples
 on the individuals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. In conclusion, despite
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 less time and effort on fast
food
Use synonyms
, clean
meals
Use synonyms
 can be
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 and convenient solution to stay healthy and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productive. For
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 reasons, I strongly believe that healthy
food
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must be the first option and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should impose tax on the fast
food
Use synonyms
 centers additional to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public awareness on the negative outcome from bad eating habits that destroy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical and mental
condition
Check wording
health
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say why the bad points are stronger than the good points in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear main ideas. One body part can be about time and ease, and one body part can be about health and cost.
task response
Give one simple example and explain it more. Do not only name a study; say how it supports your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, because, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some parts are hard to understand because the order of words is not clear.
task response
Keep your opinion the same all through the essay and restate it clearly at the end.
task response
You gave a clear opinion that the bad points are greater than the good points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to add examples about work life and health problems.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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