IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows the proportion of women in the labor force and women in management in five countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table compares the percentages of
women
Use synonyms
 in the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 and in
management
Use synonyms
 positions in five countries, namely
Australia
Use synonyms
, Egypt,
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the United
States
Use synonyms
. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 are better represented in the workforce than in
management
Use synonyms
 in most nations.
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the United
States
Use synonyms
 show the most balanced figures,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
 have the largest gaps. Egypt has the lowest female participation
overall
Linking Words
.
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the United
States
Use synonyms
 demonstrate relatively equal representation. In
Australia
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 make up 42% of the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 and 43% of
management
Use synonyms
, making it the only country where both figures are almost identical.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the United
States
Use synonyms
 shows comparable proportions at 46% and 43%, respectively. It can be seen that
management
Use synonyms
 positions are dominated by
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the USA.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
 display significant disparities.
Japan
Use synonyms
 has the highest
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 participation at 48%, but only 17% of
management
Use synonyms
 roles are held by
women
Use synonyms
. The gap is even wider in
Sri
Use synonyms
Lanka
Use synonyms
, where
women
Use synonyms
 account for 41% of the workforce but just 9% of managers. Egypt represents a special case, with the lowest female participation in both categories. Only 20% of
women
Use synonyms
 are in the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
, and 12% occupy
management
Use synonyms
 roles.
Although
Linking Words
 the gap between the two figures is relatively small, the
overall
Linking Words
 representation remains limited.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, labour, force, management, australia, sri, lanka, japan, states with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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