IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average time UK workers spent traveling to work and their methods of transportation in 2009

The pie chart illustrates the amount of time that
spent
Verb problem
is spent
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 on commuting to work by
UK
Use synonyms
 residents.
While
Linking Words
 graph depicts the means of transport used to commute to work in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, most employees spent 1-15
mins
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 rare workers spent over an hour. Cars ,
such
Linking Words
 as private and
taxies
Use the right word
taxis
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, were used by most workers in
London
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the underground subway was less used In detail, nearly 42% of
people
Use synonyms
 allocated 15
mins
Use synonyms
 on the road,
while
Linking Words
 33% of
UK
Use synonyms
 inhabitants spent roughly 16-30
mins
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 12% of individuals spent
31-45mins
Correct your spelling
31-45 minutes of
 their time on the road every day.
Whereas
Linking Words
 with a few per cent, 8% of
people
Use synonyms
 allocated 45-60
mins
Use synonyms
 a day. Almost 5% of
UK
Use synonyms
 residents devote their time approximately 60+ hours on way
However
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
habitats
Use the right word
inhabitants
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 used private cars mostly , and it constituted 70%.
While
Linking Words
 the whole
UK
Use synonyms
 used car not quite as much compared to the
London
Use synonyms
 residents, constituting 35%, nearly half of them. Commuting by walking made the same
per cent
Use the right word
percentage
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, representing 10% each. Yet, a few numbers of
people
Use synonyms
 used a bicycle, and it represented 5% each.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, bus was used more by
people
Use synonyms
 in the other regions in the
UK
Use synonyms
, whilst
London
Use synonyms
 city dwellers used them less.
Similarly
Linking Words
, both train and underground subway highlight the simultaneous results, resulting in
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 20% and 2%, respectively

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, mins, london, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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