Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

In modern society, life has changed a great deal. especially in cities.
This
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includes how
people
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create housing areas. Some
people
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tend to work with taller buildings,
while
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others tend to work with special building that has a wider area of land.
Thus
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, both have significant points.
This
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assay provides key information to support the topic. On the one hand, in terms of the primary trend,
according to
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the given data, there are many dramatic points related to building houses on a large area of land.
This
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is
due to
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many negative outcomes.
First,
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the limitation of other areas for other
people
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is a main drawback.
This
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will increase the level of poor homes.
As a result
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, the stability of life will decrease sharply.
On the other hand
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, in terms of the secondary trend,
according to
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the given reports, there are many significant marks related to taller buildings.
In addition
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, the statistics show a clear increase in
people
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who live in taller homes.
This
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is
due to
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many positive incomes and smart solutions.
Firstly
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, the quality of air in the room has a major impact.
This
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can increase the health and stability.
Secondly
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, the large car area is another main point.
This
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will make
people
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live safely and happily. In conclusion, in terms of problems and solutions,
according to
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the key information, there are many negative impacts.
However
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, there are many strong solutions.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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the level of positive steps is higher than the negative steps.
Thus
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, the government recommends
people
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follow the right tips for a positive result and a great life.

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development
The essay has a clear frame with intro, body and end. But ideas are not well built. Add one main idea per paragraph and explain it well.
task
Be clear on the task. Say which housing way is better and why. Then give a simple reason and a small example.
coherence
Use more link words to show how ideas go together. Also fix grammar so it is easy to read.
examples
Use simple facts or ideas as examples. Do not say data is 'given' or 'reports' without real data.
structure
The essay has a clear plan: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
Link words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' link ideas.
content
Topic is about housing and shows two ways to build.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
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