Some people think that music lessons aren’t important and that children should pay more attention to science. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, with the influence of technology, academic learning has shifted towards science-related subjects rather than art and

music

Use synonyms

Although

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I think that

following

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this

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trend is suitable because of the development of modern society, we should not neglect the importance of art in our lives.

This

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essay will discuss the topic and give reasons to support the writer’s opinion. First and foremost,

music

Use synonyms

promotes psychological development. Listening to

music

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fosters creative thinking.

For instance

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, when you listen to your

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

songs, your mood gets uplifted and starts to trigger your brain into

imagine

Wrong verb form

imagining

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different things; over time,

this

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makes the right hemisphere become larger

which

Punctuation problem

, which

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sparks more creativity.

Secondly

Linking Words

music

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alleviates stress levels. Unlike science subjects,

music

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serve

Correct subject-verb agreement

serves

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as a treatment

Change preposition

for

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stress rather than a way to improve logical thinking.

Therefore

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music

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can be an effective remedy for stress and pressure in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Thirdly

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music

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allows people to discover the culture and language of other countries.

In other words

Linking Words

, it reflects the lifestyle and

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

of people in different regions. Each type of

music

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has different vibes which demonstrate people's thoughts and attitudes.

For example

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, when you listen to Brazilian phonk

music

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, you can hear strong bass and energetic rhythms, which may suggest a free and easygoing lifestyle compared with the more disciplined lifestyle often associated with Japanese culture. In conclusion,

although

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science subjects are important in modern education, art and

music

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should not be ignored.

Music

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provides significant psychological, cultural, and emotional benefits, and

therefore

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it deserves an important place alongside science in the school curriculum.

anhtb.dd

Feb 27, 2026

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task response

State your clear view in the intro. Use a direct 'I agree that art and music are important' sentence.

content

Add more simple, real life examples that connect to school life.

grammar

Fix grammar: 'music serve' -> 'music serves'; 'into imagine' -> 'to imagine'; 'the right hemisphere... larger' is not a fact; avoid wrong science.

coherence

Use more linking words and clear steps: first, next, finally.

content

Keep facts simple and true. Avoid claim that brain parts grow from listening to music.

structure

Clear plan in intro and three main ideas in body

cohesion

Good use of ordering words: First, Secondly, Thirdly

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

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Some people think that music lessons aren’t important and that children should pay more attention to science. Do you agree or disagree?

At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many countries the widespread use of internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is this a positive or negative development? Trung