Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is the government 's responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption while others think that it is the individual's responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views

Consuming excessive amounts of
sugar
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is detrimental to human
health
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. Opinions are divided
whether
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on whether
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the authorities should be responsible for restricting how much
sugar
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people
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can consume or whether each individual should regulate their own intake of sugary
products
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.
While
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I acknowledge the former, I still firmly agree with the latter as, to me, individuals should take primary responsibility for controlling their
sugar
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consumption in order to reduce the risk of various diseases. Those who argue that the government has the duty to control and restrict
people
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from
this
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bad issue may point to the power they possess over the public. They may well argue that politicians should enforce strict laws on excessive carbohydrate consumption and implement strategies to protect citizens’
health
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.
For example
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, they can impose heavy tax on soft drinks like
coca cola
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Coca-Cola
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, which is often
treated
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blamed
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to
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for
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be the cause of obesity and diabetes, leading to an increase in retail prices and thereby causing a financial bottleneck to customers.
As a result
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, consumers have to opt for alternative drinks, which are much healthier and contain less
sugar
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.
However
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,
this
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effect is only temporary
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while
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, while
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in the long
run
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run,
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the government can not control all
civilizations
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civilisations
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since
people
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will strive to overuse these
products
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regardless
,
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. For
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for example
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,
historically
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historically,
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there are tons of rules and regulations for restricting the use of drugs
,
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apply
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and alcohol
but
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, but
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there are still several
people
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still
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apply
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using them.
Nevertheless
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, I am still in favour that individuals have the right to choose what they eat without having external forces imposing their preferences, and have
responsibility
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the responsibility
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to care for their
health
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. In fact, cutting down on the excessive intake of
sugar
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not only helps maintain
healthy
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a healthy
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weight but
also
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lowers the risks of serious illnesses ranging from obesity to heart attack.
In addition
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, lasting dietary change usually occurs only when
people
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are self-disciplined and aware of the consequences of overconsuming sugary
products
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.
Although
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supermarkets are filled with foods
having
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that have
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a negative impact on
health
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, each person has the duty to regulate their own eating habits and aim for a balanced diet.
For instance
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, if parents can check nutrition labels and limit high-
sugar
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items at home, they will protect both themself and their children from suffering from numerous disorders, building lifelong healthy eating habits. Even if the government restricts
sugar
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in some
products
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,
people
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can still overconsume through desserts, drinks and home cooking. In conclusion, it is understandable why
centralized
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centralised
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policies restricting excessive usage of
sugar
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by authorities are mandatory.
However
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, I would take the view that controlling daily intake depends on individual choices.

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task
Your essay has a clear view and you discuss both sides, but add a stronger final sentence to restate your view clearly.
coherence
Use more clear links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence and use words that connect thoughts.
examples
Give more precise examples that connect to your claim and show how your point is true.
positioning
You state your own view and stick with it.
balance
You present both sides before giving your view.
structure
Your paragraphs have a basic flow and order.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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