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Writing Samples
Band 4

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

In
resent
Use the right word
recent
show examples
 years
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 problem of whether
people
Use synonyms
 are consuming more and more
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 has become widely debated.
However
Linking Words
, there are
planty
Correct your spelling
plenty
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are eating or drinking
sugar
Use synonyms
 without even realising it. Personally, I
beliave
Correct your spelling
believe
 that in today's world
food
Use synonyms
 and
drinks
Use synonyms
 are full of
emulgators
Correct your spelling
emulsifiers
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 and
chemicalls
Correct your spelling
chemicals
, so eating healthy and balanced
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 pretty hard.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are used to
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for a fast dopamine in
food
Use synonyms
 or
drinks
Use synonyms
, which leads to a popular issue
such
Linking Words
 as
food
Use synonyms
desorder
Correct your spelling
disorder
.
Replace the word
Evolutionarily
show examples
Evolutionally
Punctuation problem
Evolutionally,
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and
drinks
Use synonyms
 have been hardly
ecceseble
Correct your spelling
essential
 for humans,
while
Linking Words
 nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have everything they need for
serviving
Correct your spelling
surviving
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the modern world
humanity
Punctuation problem
, humanity
show examples
 faced a problem of overconsumption of
food
Use synonyms
 and
drinks
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 our
physiologicall
Correct your spelling
physiological
 and
evolutional
Replace the word
evolutionary
show examples
 settings.
For instance
Linking Words
, on the subconscious
level
Punctuation problem
level,
show examples
 the morning coffee
retual
Correct your spelling
ritual
 has become
Correct article usage
an unreplaceble
show examples
unreplaceble
Correct your spelling
unreplaceable
 way of relaxation, some
people
Use synonyms
 can not
imaggine
Correct your spelling
imagine
 their mornings without
Starbacks coffe
Correct your spelling
Starbucks coffee
 with a ton of
sugar
Use synonyms
 and serop, which
containes
Correct your spelling
contains
 almost a daily norm of
sugar
Use synonyms
. I strongly
beliave
Correct your spelling
believe
 that partially
people
Use synonyms
 have been sold the idea of drinking unhealthy but really tempting
drinks
Use synonyms
 by social media, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
corporate marketing.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 level of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
drinks
Use synonyms
 is
adicting
Correct your spelling
addictive
, and
asociated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive emotions, so subconsciously
people
Use synonyms
 want to buy a drink only to
full fill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 the
luck
Use the right word
lack
show examples
 of emotions or
fell
Use the right word
feel
show examples
 an attachment to the same lifestyle as the influencers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, human
reseptors
Correct your spelling
receptors
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become weaker with time
due to
Linking Words
enormous
Correct article usage
the enormous
show examples
 amount of chemicals and
sugar
Use synonyms
 in everything we consume. It is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
 and
well known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
 fact
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that in
constant
Correct article usage
the constant
show examples
 competition of
manufactures
Use the right word
manufacturers
show examples
, they started to put more and more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chemicals in
drinks
Use synonyms
 to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 tastier,
last
Linking Words
 longer and
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have more
coffein
Correct your spelling
caffeine
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has a vital
impect
Correct your spelling
impact
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human's
Check wording
human
show examples
 health.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
USA
Punctuation problem
USA,
show examples
 the culture of having a
Use synonyms
drinks
Fix the agreement mistake
drink
show examples
while
Linking Words
 you are busy with your business is a common thing
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can buy several
drinks
Use synonyms
 during a day and consume over 3000
kalories
Correct your spelling
calories
 only
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
. That explains why
such
Linking Words
 a majority of citizens have obesity, diabetes and heart
injeries
Correct your spelling
injuries
. Personally, I think that the government should put some regulations on how much
sugar
Use synonyms
 and chemicals can be used in several products.
Furthermor
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the healthy lifestyle has become popular
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 a significant
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of bloggers are making videos about balanced
recepies
Correct your spelling
recipes
 and gym workouts, which has a good
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
 on society. In conclusion, the
obsetion
Correct your spelling
obsession
 on
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 should be regulated and taken seriously by the
governmant
Correct your spelling
government
, to
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vital problems
such
Linking Words
 as
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
demography
Replace the word
demographics
show examples
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's health issues and overconsumption. In my point of view, the usage of
surar
Correct your spelling
sugar
 should be sharply lowered by replacing it with healthier variations.

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structure
Make one plan for the essay. Use an intro, body with one idea per paragraph, and a short end.
cohesion
Use small linking words to show how ideas fit, like also, but, so, however.
vocabulary
Check words and spell. Use common words and fix easy errors.
task
Give clear and real examples that fit the idea you talk about.
content
The idea to cut sugar is clear and you want to help.
content
Some parts show good life or news links as examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar-based
  • drinks
  • taste
  • refreshing
  • enjoyable
  • marketing
  • advertise
  • cool
  • desirable
  • energy
  • tired
  • boost
  • social events
  • gatherings
  • parties
  • celebrations
  • choose
  • quick
  • common
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