IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some places, groups of teenagers occasionally cause trouble by behaving badly. What do you think are the reasons for this problem, and what might be done about it?

Often, young
people
Use synonyms
 tend to misbehave, causing problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, big cities like Milan
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and Rome have become very dangerous because, in the
last
Linking Words
 decade, teenagers began to hurt
people
Use synonyms
 and to damage historical monuments. There are many reasons and points of view on
this
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 topic around the world.
To begin
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 with, in
this
Linking Words
 era,
people
Use synonyms
 try to earn respect by violence, and they lose the human value of well-being inside a
paceful
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 community.
For example
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, when two boys have an argument, they do not try to speak and find an agreement
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they start to fight to show who is the strongest.
In addition
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, there is no
anymore
Rephrase
apply
show examples
attention to keeping beautiful, clean and safe. Almost every day, there is a lot of news of young student tragedy, where someone
stab
Correct subject-verb agreement
stabs
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 for gelosy his classmate or his girlfriend.
Moreover
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, I remember that three months ago, I was in Milan to have a party with friends, but we could not use the metro train at night, because we were afraid of being attacked by some young foreign person.
This
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 is another important topic to argue about. In the
last
Linking Words
 twenty years, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third-world countries moved to Europe, and the percentage of criminality sharply increased. All things considered, there could be a lot of solutions to change
this
Linking Words
 trend: the government could intensify the number of policemen around the cities, schools should promote some behaviour lessons inside the study plan, and parents must
keep
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention to well educate their children.

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content
Clarify your main plan in the intro and keep to it in the body.
structure
Use three clear parts: intro, 2 or 3 body paragraphs, and a short end.
content
Give strong and fair reasons, and avoid unfair views about people from other places.
coherence
Link your ideas with simple words like also, so, but, then to show how they fit.
grammar
Check your sentences. Use short and plain form to avoid mistakes.
lexical
Use easy words from the small set. If you use a hard word, keep it short and clear.
content
You write about a real topic and try to give fixes.
language
Some real places and events are used in the examples.
content
You offer steps that could help the city and schools.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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