IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

The
travelling
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travel
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 industry has multiple positive and negative effects on the locations which are being visited. It is debatable whether the good outweighs the bad in
this
Linking Words
 situation. There are many advantages that
tourism
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 brings to communities.
Firstly
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, a very beneficial effect is the boost to the economy it offers of any country which is being explored
.
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offers.
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For example
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, during the COVID crisis, nations that
heavilly
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heavily
 relied on
tourism
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 took major losses
due to
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 the lessened traffic, and
due to
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this
Linking Words
 their governments and
people
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 suffered too. Another great effect of a country being visited often is the notoriety it may give a location. When a destination is very sought after, it gains more attention
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 may boost multiple other industries coming from
this
Linking Words
 place. A certain scenario where
this
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 might be the case could be someone visiting Greece, trying Greek yoghurt, and
than
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then
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 buying Greek yoghurt back in their home nation from authentic Greek companies.
Thus
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 has many avenues to help a nation
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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this
Linking Words
 does not come without its disadvantages. There are a few problems with
tourism
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 which far outweigh the positives
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 my opinion. A major negative is the environmental threat it poses
due to
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 the increased traffic to a certain location.
This
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 can be
due to
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 more vehicles being used to move these visitors, which
then
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 in turn
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 more fossil fuel emissions. Another way
this
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 may be felt is by increased
litering
Correct your spelling
littering
, which naturally follows the introduction of more
people
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 who are not local to a country. In turn, that might put animals in danger that are local and destroy beautiful natural habitats. The permanent residents are the most
effected
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affected
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 by
tourism
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. An increased number of visitors makes local business increase their prices and
thus
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 causes local
people
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 to not be able to afford common commodities they usually would be able to. It
also
Linking Words
 generally makes life more difficult for
people
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 who are trying to just go about their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
while
Linking Words
 offering little to no benefit in return to them directly. In conclusion, the
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
tourism
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 far outweigh the potential positives from the perspective of the common citizen.

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structure
Make the intro stronger by stating your main view and what you will discuss.
coherence
Use clear, tied ideas in order. Each idea should be put in its own paragraph and be connected to the next with simple linking words.
grammar
Watch spelling and grammar. Fix common ошибок like 'heavilly', 'notoriety', 'littering', and use correct 'then' for sequence.
content
Add more real examples or facts to support the claims. They should be easy and clear.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and ends with a clear conclusion.
content
You give real events (COVID impact) and a location example (Greece) to show your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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