IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the use of renewable energy accounting for total energy from 1971 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of renewable energy consumption relative to total energy use in six
countries
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 over a 40-year
period
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 from 1971 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 of energy coming from renewable sources increased in most of the six
countries
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 over the
period
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, with the United States showing the most marked growth,
while
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
 was the only nation to experience noticeable fluctuations.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Finland
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 consistently recorded the highest share of renewables,
whereas
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom relied on them the least throughout the years shown. Looking at
countries
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 with significant growth, in 1971, the United States began with the second-lowest figure at 2.5%, which was half that of Germany's approximately 5% and roughly one-third of France's 8%. The US
proportion
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then
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 rose steadily throughout the entire
period
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, reaching just over 18% by 2011, representing an increase of nearly 16 percentage points. Meanwhile, Germany’s figures
initially
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 fluctuated, declining to a low of under 4% in 1987 before recovering dramatically to roughly 13% in the final year.
Similarly
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, France showed a consistent upward trajectory, rising steadily from 8% to around 14.5% over the four decades. Regarding the remaining
countries
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,
Finland
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 started the
period
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 with the highest
proportion
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 at nearly 25%, significantly above Denmark's approximately 15%,
while
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom recorded the lowest figure at less than 1%.
Finland
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's
proportion
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 fluctuated considerably, dropping to a minimum of around 16% in 1988 before recovering to approximately its original level at 23.5% by 2011. Denmark
also
Linking Words
 experienced notable fluctuations throughout the
period
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 but showed an
overall
Linking Words
 increase, ending at roughly 17% in 2011.
Finally
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, the United Kingdom demonstrated the slowest but most consistent growth, rising gradually from under 1% to nearly 6% over the four decades, though it remained the lowest among all
countries
Use synonyms
 throughout.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, countries, period, finland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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