IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Should highschool students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or study a select few? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The question of whether
should
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students should
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students
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 be required to study multiple
subjects
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 at the same time has become a considerable debate. Personally,
i
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I
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 believe that high school
students
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 should choose the
subjects
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 they prefer studying because it is more beneficial.
Firstly
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, learners selecting what courses they take is more favourable because it makes them enjoy and value their studies, have the motivation to learn
which
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, which
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 leads to better grades,
as a result
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, the percentage of
students
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 skipping classes will decrease, which is a
posative
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positive
 effect for the schools
as well as
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students
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.
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secondly
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Secondly
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, it will help high school
students
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 pick out their major
,
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apply
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 and build
necessary
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the necessary
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 skills for their desired career paths.
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furthermore
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Furthermore
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,
pursing
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pursuing
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subjects
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 they prefer is better for their
mentel
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mental
 health, because it reduces stress and
increase
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increases
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happieness
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happiness
. A study in the
uk
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UK
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 illustrates that 83 per cent of
students
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 skip classes because they believe that studying
subjects
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 they do not prefer is not going to
benefite
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benefit
 them in the future. In conclusion,
i
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I
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 believe that learners should have the right to select what subject they like for multiple reasons
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such
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, such
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 as
increase
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increasing
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 motivation, mental
well being
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well-being
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, and future career alignment.

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task response
For task response, answer both sides more clearly. You say students should choose some subjects, but you do not say much about the other view.
task response
For task response, explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more detail and clearer support.
task response
For task response, use examples that are more direct and clear. The study helps, but it needs a clearer link to your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body paragraph have one clear main idea. Then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas with simple and correct words like First, Also, For example, and As a result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check sentence flow. Some long sentences join too many ideas together.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to see: interest, future work, and mental health.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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