IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe global trade is the best way for an economy to grow. However, others believe we should only produce and buy products made in our own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 a wide controversy about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international
trading
Replace the word
trade
show examples
 and its effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
countries's
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 economies. Some nations think that trading across the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
 is the best choice to increase the
economy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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 that
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national
production
Use synonyms
 is the best. I totally agree with the latter view
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will discuss both views before reaching the conclusion. On the one hand, individuals who advocate that trading is the most proper method to enhance the
economy
Use synonyms
 may think that trading can gain money faster
that
Correct word choice
than
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 any other way. To clarify, they
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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 that the profit from trading can be reached within two to three months
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the profit from the
production
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 could take at least nine months.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the risk
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 trading is less risky than producing products. To justify,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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recent research has been
done
Punctuation problem
done,
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
which says
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 that the probability of risks and failures in trading
in
Use the right word
is
show examples
one tenth
Use the right word
one-tenth
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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 the risks in
production
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that
production
Use synonyms
 is the perfect way to improve the
economy
Use synonyms
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
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 that the power of
production
Use synonyms
 can guarantee sustainable profit. As a clarification, the
countries
Use synonyms
 that produce a variety of products have many methods to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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economy
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
countries
Use synonyms
 that depend on the
production
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great opportunities to expand in the world. For the sake of clarity, the
countries
Use synonyms
 that built
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 economies on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
Use synonyms
 have the chance to export
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 products around the world,
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 those
countries
Use synonyms
 will have a
srtong
Correct your spelling
strong
economy
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, trading is a good approach to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 the ecosystems.
However
Linking Words
, the
countries
Use synonyms
 that use
production
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more sustainable and can guarantee more jobs for their nations.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You write both views, but your own view is stronger than the first side.
task response
Give clearer main ideas in each body part. Some ideas are there, but they are not fully clear or fully developed.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and exact. Some examples sound general or not well proved.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. This is good, but the last part is very short.
coherence cohesion
Linking words are used, but some are not natural. Use simple links like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main point and then support it with one or two clear reasons.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion. This meets the main task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You try to support your ideas with reasons and examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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