IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working for employees. Why is the law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, the question whether some countries have presented a law to limit working hours for employees is beneficial or not, has become widely debated.
However
Linking Words
, the
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society increased
signifficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 in the past few years
due to
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 the trend
on
Change preposition
of
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beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 extra productive. Personally, I believe that
this
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 new rule is a positive change that helps to keep
life
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Use the right word
work-life
show examples
 balance.
Firstly
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, nowadays,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 used to judge a person by the
acomplichmants
Correct your spelling
accomplishments
 they
ahived
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achieved
.
Nevertheless
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, it is rarely
axepted
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accepted
 and highly respected if an individual does not
watn
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want
 a "successful success" but just a simple happy
life
Use synonyms
. For
inctance
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instance
, in Japan and
Korea
Add a comma
Korea,
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 the
governmant
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government
 has been
forsed
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forced
 to implement the
low
Use the right word
law
show examples
 that
controlles
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controls
 the working hours because the number of
suesides
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suicides
 rose dramatically.
Additionally
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, the high cultural and social
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
 in those countries put a big pressure on youth,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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couses
Correct your spelling
causes
 mental problems. In my point of view,
due to
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 the
aforementiond
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aforementioned
 factors
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this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
 low is vital, it keeps the
demograpthy
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demography
 stable and
alowes
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allows
 people to have some time to enjoy their lives.
Secondly
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, sometimes, people forget that
life
Use synonyms
 is not about
work
Use synonyms
. It is
Correct article usage
an undenyeble
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undenyeble
Correct your spelling
undeniable
 fact
,
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apply
show examples
 that the job takes a
signifficant
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significant
 part of
humen's
Check wording
humans'
show examples
 lives
but
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, but
show examples
 it is important to
remamber
Correct your spelling
remember
 that it is
jus
Use the right word
just
show examples
 a tool to be able to afford
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real happiness.
For example
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, in the end of the days all that a person will remember is
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 rare moments with family, friends or some
increadible
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incredible
 vocation. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
 that it is important to separate the
work
Use synonyms
 from personal
life
Use synonyms
 and always try to create as much as posible memorable and
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
 experiences. In conclusion,
such
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 low is a positive
developmant
Correct your spelling
development
, because it helps to draw a clear line between personal and
work
Use synonyms
 time. Mainly, the
introduced
Wrong verb form
introduction of
show examples
 low keeps people
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
 and physically healthy, and provides some personal time to employees
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads to better productivity.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why the law was made, and why you think it is good or bad.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea in each body paragraph very clear in the first sentence.
task response
Explain your examples more. The Japan and Korea example is useful, but add one more line to show how it supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way. Some are good, but a few sentences are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when possible. This will make your writing easier to read.
task response
Your conclusion is clear, but it can be stronger if you repeat the two main reasons in simpler words.
task response
You answered both parts of the question and gave a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used a real-world example, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The overall order of ideas is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • job opportunities
  • fair labor practices
  • exploitation
  • societal well-being
  • legislation
  • workforce
  • employee health
  • stress reduction
What to do next:
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