IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided chart describes the spending habits of under-26-year-old students in the United Kingdom from 1996 to 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 and
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 in their
expenses
Use synonyms
 can be seen during the three-year period, except for spending on children
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 only appeared in 1996. In terms of the rise in their expenditure, students seemed to spend 2% more on essential travel, increasing from 4% in 1996 to 6% in 1999.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the expenditure on entertainment
also
Linking Words
 rose from around 25% in 1996 to just over 30% in the next three years, followed by other
expenses
Use synonyms
, which once stood at 12% approximately before reaching a little over 15% in 1999.
However
Linking Words
, there was a fall in certain
expenses
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the spending on residence dropped by around 4%, leaving it at about 20% in 1999. Non-essential travel
expenses
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 fell from just under 5% to around 3%. Students
also
Linking Words
 seemed to become more careful with spending on necessities (food, bills, and household goods) — the number dropped from 20% in 1996 to approximately 17% over the next three years. The
last
Linking Words
 decrease was found in course expenditure
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 once stood at 10% but later dropped to 7%. Interestingly, spending on children only appeared in 1999 (around 1%).

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: