IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays online learning has become very popular, as more and more organisations are offering education on the Internet. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online learning?

Today, many people prefer online
education
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, as the number of companies offering training online increases.
This
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 essay will discuss the upsides and downsides of
this
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way
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 of gaining knowledge. Apparently, online learning has several significant advantages. The first is that
this
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way
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 of study can save a considerable amount of time. There is no need to travel to a school, especially if the educational institution is located very far away from home. The next benefit is that online
education
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 is very convenient — tasks can be completed from any device and any location. Thanks to modern technology, people can study their location independently,
people
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and they
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 can combine travel and study. They can
also
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 gain knowledge on any device,
for example
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 phone or a laptop. There are,
however
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, certain drawbacks to distance
education
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. The major disadvantage is that all the tasks are done on computers, and learners are constantly seated.
This
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 method of teaching leads to an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle. The next drawback is vision impairment. Sitting at a computer for a long time can seriously damage eyesight. Approximately 43% of children worldwide suffer from low vision.
This
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 statistic increases every year,
witch
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which
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 is a very sad trend.
To conclude
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, online learning has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand,
this
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way
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 of
education
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 saves time and is very convenient.
On the other hand
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,
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education online
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online education
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 can produce health problems
such
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 as a sedentary lifestyle and vision impairment.
Overall
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despite
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, despite
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 some drawbacks, online
education
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 can be a useful
answer
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and
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 effective
way
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 of learning.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. You give good main points, but you can explain each point more.
task response
Use clearer examples. The point about eye problems is useful, but it needs a more direct link to online learning.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear, like 'people can study their location independently'. Write this in a simpler and clearer way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences repeat the same idea about device and location. Try to avoid repeating and join ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some parts connect well, but a few lines feel sudden or not smooth.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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