IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are having some problems with hygiene at your new gym. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter, • describe when you enrolled • describe the issues • suggest some solutions

Dear Miss Smith, I am Abc, a member of your gym named Aspire. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to
withdraw
Verb problem
draw
show examples
 your attention
on having
Change preposition
to a
show examples
 few issues with hygiene in
you
Correct determiner usage
your
show examples
 gym. I enrolled
in
Change preposition
apply
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last
Linking Words
 month,
12
Change preposition
on 12
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 February. I was chosen
the
Change preposition
as the
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 best member in your gym for the lucky draw competition. I would really like to thank you for the facilities which are offered, they are just beyond
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expectations. Unfortunately, there are some issues that
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 immediate solutions to solve those problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I saw there are no garbage bins in the workout area.
Due to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 throw their waste on the ground. I think if you could provide the
dustbin bins
Correct your spelling
dustbins
, that would be great
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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people
Use synonyms
 will
proper
Replace the word
properly
 follow the waste disposal system.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, I noticed there is a lack of
sanitizer
Change the spelling
sanitiser
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 bottles near each
equipment
Check wording
piece of equipment
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. Sometimes,
people
Use synonyms
 use their sweaty or dirty hands to touch the instruments.
Whereas
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 find it awkward to touch those equipments because of cleanliness. I hope you will take preventive actions to solve these problems. Your cooperation in
this
Linking Words
 matter would be greatly appreciated. An open line of communication, from your side, would greatly help out. Yours sincerely, Abc

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task response
Say the time you joined in a full and clear way.
task response
Add one more clear fix, like more cleaning each day.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words like First, Also, and Finally.
task response
You answered all three points in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start and end.
task response
The problems are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas mostly follow a good order.
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