IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college adminisllator. In your letter • say which part-time course you booked • explain why you need to cancel your booking • ask about booking a different course You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing regarding the fact that
i
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I
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 want to cancel my booking of a part-time course, as it's a cooking course. As I said before, I want to cancel a booking for my cooking department because I don't want to waste money on
cooking
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the cooking
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 department as
i
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I
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 can learn it from my mother at home without paying any fees .
Additionally
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 , I think I can learn it quickly from my mother at any time.
Apart from
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this
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, I can learn it from watching cooking videos on YouTube. Actually , I want to book a swimming class that
i
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I
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 cannot learn at home. I think its better way to spend time learning swimming as an extracurricular activity.
Moreover
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, by learning it i can participate in swimming competitions at the national level, which helps to make money and fame . Please accept my request to cancel
cooking
Correct article usage
the cooking
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 division and add my name to
swimming
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the swimming
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 degree. Yours faithfully, Jass

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas are not clear. Say the course name in a simple way and ask clearly if you can join the new course.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite tone. Write 'I would like to cancel my booking' and 'I would like to ask about booking a swimming course.'
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in one paragraph. First paragraph for the course, second for why you cancel, third for the new course.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link ideas with easy words like 'because', 'also', and 'so'. This will make your letter easier to follow.
task response
Task response: You cover the three points in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start and end.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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