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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015

This
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 chart compares the proportion of female school-leavers going into higher education between five countries in 1980 and 2015.
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Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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 most of the Nations experienced an upward trend
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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exception
Correct article usage
the exception
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 of Australia, which
maintained
Verb problem
apply
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remained stagnant.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
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 and Australia were leading the two periods,
while
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 South Korea
despite
Punctuation problem
, despite
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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jump
Punctuation problem
jump,
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 remained at the bottom. The UK percentage of females planning
of
Change preposition
to
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 go to university increased from around 30% in 1980 to about 50% in 2015. In the USA, the percentage in 1980 was under 40%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 in 2015 it almost hit the 60% experienced a significant surge.
Otherwise
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 Australia, the percentage of women going to university remains steady during
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 period at the 60% levels and the highest
of
Change preposition
in
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 the image.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
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 South Korea had growth in the 35 years
were
Use the right word
, where
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 it was just 15%
climbing
Punctuation problem
, climbing
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 to 30%.
In
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contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 France illustrates a small improvement in
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
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 just about 5%
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
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 to
1980
Correct article usage
the 1980
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 column.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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