IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that multiple short vacations are better than the long vacation Discuss both views and give your own opinion.Student's vacation

Nowadays, a significant number of
students
Use synonyms
 rest frequently
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two weeks. Some schools
are
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 rested their
students
Use synonyms
 for a whole semester without any breaks throughout the school year. Advantage of multiple short
vacations
Use synonyms
 are better than
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long vacation for biological, psychological and brain overload. Their abilities to focus and handle pressure are different
due to
Linking Words
 their age. It may be tiring and stressful when
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 pressure increases. Multiple short
vacations
Use synonyms
 give more opportunities to rest and uplift
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 mood
for them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
when
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning without any
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 may cause
students
Use synonyms
 to lose focus. The brain works better and
increasing obtain new information and memory ability
Correct word order
increases its ability to obtain new information and memory
show examples
 when rested.
Also
Linking Words
, during the vacation, they refresh and spend
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 time doing other
extra classes
Check wording
extracurricular activities
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their own hobby.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advantage of vacation during a whole semester is to relieve
exhaustion
Correct article usage
the exhaustion
show examples
 of biology and
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
 completely.
In addition
Linking Words
, give more opportunities
such
Linking Words
 as learning new languages, to level up others' ability, to travel
long
Change preposition
on long
show examples
trip
Check wording
trips
show examples
 with their family and join a program abroad for
students
Use synonyms
 with greater ambitions. In conclusion, long
vacations
Use synonyms
 are more comfortable than multiple short
vacations
Use synonyms
 for high schoolers.
Students
Use synonyms
 can be motivated to pursue a world education
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as to learn a new language,
learn
Correct word choice
and learn
show examples
 about the different ways of thinking of
students
Use synonyms
 from other countries at the same time.
Additionally
Linking Words
, multiple short
vacations
Use synonyms
 are more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for primary and middle schoolers than high schoolers. Especially, multiple short
vacations
Use synonyms
 can reduce the risk of chronic fatigue.

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task response
Answer both views more fully. You talk about short breaks and long breaks, but some ideas are not fully explained.
task response
Give your own opinion more clearly from the start and keep it the same in the whole essay.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support your ideas, for example how a short break helps young students or how a long break helps older students.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word order and missing words. Write shorter sentences to make your meaning clear.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, which is important for this task.
task response
You have a clear ending paragraph with your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'Besides', 'Also', and 'On the other hand'.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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