IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
a
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university
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degree
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 has many appeals, especially in our modern world.
While
Linking Words
 many people believe that a
university
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 education is necessary in
order
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 to get a good
job
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 with a high
salary
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, others argue that it is not essential if a person has many skills. In my opinion, I tend to believe that having a higher dgree is play a pivotal role in getting a high position and a high income. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic and explore my own view. On the one hand, having a good career depends on various factors. One major factor is a
university
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 education, which allows people to climb the ladder in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 workplace.
Also
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, a certificate in a
university
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 major helps a person to be more professional. Having a
degree
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 in a specific master، make a once is desirable to companies. So many enterprises prefer to hire someone with a
degree
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 over others.
In addition
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, a graduation from
university
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 is a society reward, meaning many specialist are provide benefits for their communities. Graduates often possess superior critical thinking, making them more resilient in the workforce
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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and better equipped to solve complex community problems.
On the other hand
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, there are many skills and qualifications that play a significant role in
order
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 to get a rewarding
job
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.
Due to
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 developing technology and the Internet, many people can online learning and acquire knowledge about a specific
job
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, allowing them to acquire a good
job
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.
Moreover
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, many jobs no need higher
degree
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 and offer a good
salary
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. For
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 instance, online jobs can offer a good income without requiring a
degree
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, just a basic knowledge of technology. From my perspective, I tend to believe that having a
university
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degree
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 in a special major is essential in
order
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 to get a good position and a satisfying
salary
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 in our competitive world.
To conclude
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, in our modern era, a
university
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degree
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 is essential in
order
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 to get a rewarding position and earn a high
salary
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement , particularly in
this
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 competitive
job
Use synonyms
 market.

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task response
Give a clearer answer all through the essay. You say both sides, but your own side should stay stronger from start to end.
task response
Add more clear and real examples to support your main ideas. Some points are general and not fully explained.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how a degree leads to better work and why skills alone may also help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some sentences do not link well and are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and clearer linking words. Some ideas jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each sentence and paragraph. This will make your writing easier to read.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, which helps show a full view of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like on the one hand, on the other hand, in addition, and to conclude.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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