IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In the letter: give details about the order you made explain what was wrong with the item tell the company what you want them to do about it You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear
sir
Fix capitalization
Sir
show examples
 or
madam
Fix capitalization
Madam
show examples
, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction towards my recent purchase
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 I made from your online store. I bought
Bluetooth
Correct article usage
a Bluetooth
show examples
 headset for my job and expected
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the product
was
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 5 business days,
which
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 I received
after
Correct pronoun usage
it after
show examples
 8 days.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when I opened the package, I found that
due to
Linking Words
 poor packaging, the left side of the headset was completely damaged. What made the situation worse was that I tried using it
hoping
Punctuation problem
, hoping
show examples
 for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 sound
quality
Punctuation problem
quality,
show examples
 as damage was only on the outer parts, but internal hardware was
also
Linking Words
 not working
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in bad sound quality.
As a result
Linking Words
, I was left feeling extremely dissatisfied with the
overall
Linking Words
 experience. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could give me a full refund or replacement for
this
Linking Words
 item at your earliest convenience. I hope
this
Linking Words
 matter will be resolved promptly. Hoping for a positive response from your side. Yours faithfully, Darshan

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add the order date and item model to make the order details more clear.
task response
Use 'a Bluetooth headset' and 'the item' for better word use.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
In the last line, use one clear closing sentence, not two similar ones.
task response
You answered all parts of the task: order, problem, and request.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph mostly has one main idea.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: