IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

We can't deny the fact that in many
worplaces
Correct your spelling
workplaces
, virtual
communication
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 become more
commen
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common
 than meeting in person
due to
Linking Words
 numerous reasons.
furthermore
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 i believe that the advantages of
this
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 development outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand online
communication
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 has increasingly facilated the way employees in most domains could work, since you don't have to waste no time trying to get to work to attend meetings you can do that from your own space in your comfort ,
Moreover
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 virtual
communication
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 could be really useful especially for signing documents or even contracts ,
for example
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 immigration documents nowadays it made it so easy to get documents signed and even sending them the main office all from your own comfort by one click. In the other hand online
communication
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also
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 has some bits of drawbacks since theres some workplaces that strictly rely on internet
communication
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 which could be threathning for them if there's internet problems , let's not forget that some workers could find it less efficient than communicating face to face ,
for instance
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 in certain domains
such
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 as comercial agents ,the majority agrees that communicating with costumers is far more easier and efficient for them as an agent aswell the potencial client ,since it can make you feel more comfortable and trustworthy. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
 online
communaction
Correct your spelling
communication
 and
in person
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in-person
communication
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a significant debate
, therefor
Correct word order
; therefore,
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 in my point of
view
Punctuation problem
view,
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 the advantages
do outhweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the
disadvatages
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disadvantages
,for many
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
show examples
 since it makes working much easier and efficient.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear idea about a bad point, then explain why it is smaller than the good points.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more closely linked to work life.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some long sentences should be cut into two shorter ones.
task response
You give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both sides of the question, so the response is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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