IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some believe that the rise of automation and artificial intelligence will lead to significant job losses in various industries. Others argue that it will create new job opportunities and improve productivity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a lot of thechnologies has developed with
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of the world. Especially, automatic machines and AI skills have improved quickly. Some people say it causes losing occupations
on
Punctuation problem
; on
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 the other
hands
Check wording
hand
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, it can
make
Verb problem
create
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 other
chances
Check wording
opportunities
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 for job
seeker
Check wording
seekers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many hord workings will be replaced by automation machine
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning, constructing, and factory work
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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 these
jobs
Use synonyms
 are really simple to do therefure,
ai thehnics
Correct your spelling
AI
 can make better
perfomance
Correct your spelling
performance
 than human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, kind of making progmma and application
Linking Words
also will be lost
Correct word order
will also lose
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 their positions as artificial intelligence are deeplearning itself
people
Punctuation problem
; people
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 cannot make it as
quick
Replace the word
quickly
 as
ai
Fix capitalization
AI
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. Second of all, it will be very
resonable
Correct word choice
reasonable
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 prices for huge companies to use AI technologies to develop their companies. Wall-organised
ai
Fix capitalization
AI
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 can be much better than human workers. It
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 about advantages of finance, time, and quality.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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 it will be difficult to find work compared with decades ago.
On the other hand
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, there will be some positive
effact
Correct your spelling
effects
 for giving
jobs
Use synonyms
. AI and machines
also
Linking Words
 have problems hance,
it
Correct word choice
hence it
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 needs
worker
Correct article usage
a worker
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 to fix problems.
Also
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,
AI
Correct article usage
the AI
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progamming
Correct your spelling
programming
 team can be a new
treanded
Correct your spelling
trended
 occupation for
futher
Correct your spelling
further
. In conclusion, new technologies will replace many simple
jobs
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is repitation
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it can be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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another good
opertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 for young job
seeker
Check wording
seekers
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about job loss than new jobs.
task response
Give your opinion clearly in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part and explain it more.
task response
Add simple real examples, like drivers, shop staff, robot repair, or AI design jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words: First, Second, However, For example, In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some sentences are too long or hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one topic in one paragraph. Your second body part repeats the first idea.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and spelling because they make meaning less clear.
task response
You answered the topic and discussed both views.
task response
You gave a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph shape: intro, body, body, body, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like Firstly, On the other hand, and In conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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