IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most of the
people
Use synonyms
 love to perform monotonous tasks on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
due to
Linking Words
 various reasons;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, many folks consider
change
Use synonyms
 as a good practice. Both of the ideas will be
captivated
Verb problem
discussed
show examples
 in the forthcoming paragraphs
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with the conclusion
at the end
Linking Words
. There are tremendous causes behind the public
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 repetitive tasks, and at the same time,
neglect the
Wrong verb form
neglecting
show examples
change
Use synonyms
; the foremost one is associated with their personal
as well as
Linking Words
 financial
life
Use synonyms
, which can be affected if they adopt any sort of
change
Use synonyms
. To cite an example, if a person who is responsible
to feed
Change preposition
for feeding
show examples
 his family is doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in the same company for many years on an average salary package, and he does not want any
change
Use synonyms
 in his career
life
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 to his
economical
Replace the word
economic
 and personal
life
Use synonyms
. When he will
change
Use synonyms
 the job, he will not be able to help his family live from hand to mouth, as he may not receive the salary on time, and
due to
Linking Words
 associated work overload.
Hence
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not want the
change
Use synonyms
 in their lives,
instead
Linking Words
 they love to live
monotonous
Correct article usage
a monotonous
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life
Use synonyms
. As stagnant water emits
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 smell, constantly working on repetitive things put the adverse effect on the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 and their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
change
Use synonyms
 assists
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to grow in their personal and professional
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person gets
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment in the reputed Information Technology company with
fruitful
Correct article usage
a fruitful
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 salary package, he will not only
potent enough
Correct word choice
be able
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 to provide his adolescents a beautiful
life
Use synonyms
, but he will
be
Correct word order
also be
show examples
also
Linking Words
 a man of all means, which will offer him mental satisfaction.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
change
Use synonyms
 is necessary in everyone’s
life
Use synonyms
; without
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is full of burden. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 performing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 tasks in
everyday’s
Correct word order
everyday life is
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 essential,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the significance of
change
Use synonyms
 cannot be neglected.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should adopt
change
Use synonyms
 whenever
if
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is necessary to grow.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You write about both views, but your own opinion should be clearer from the start and kept clear in the body.
task response
Make your main ideas simpler and more direct. Some ideas are hard to follow because the sentences are too long or not clear.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and exact. Your examples help, but they are too long and not always fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: intro, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good, but the linking between ideas can be smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step. A few parts jump from one point to another too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, for example, however, as a result, and in conclusion. Do not overuse long or unusual phrases.
task response
You discuss both views and give an opinion in the end. This matches the task.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which is good for this kind of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, so the reader can follow the overall plan.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear, and each body paragraph has a main focus.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
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