Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the changing workplace has become
widely spread
Correct word choice
widespread
show examples
among youth.
While
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it is often rooted in an inappropriate work sphere and major work depression.
This
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essay will examine the main causes and propose feasible solutions. One major cause of changing workplaces is the inadequacy satisfaction toward the job that the employee is doing. Most people did not have sufficient
navigator
Replace the word
navigation
,
in other words
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, people who do not direct them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
correct way. Teenage years have a remarkable influence on people’s career paths. Unnoticeably, most teenagers waste their unique time on unnecessary things,
such
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as hanging out with friends. Without enough regulation from their
parents
Use synonyms
, they are likely to hit the deadline fast.
As a result
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, without any relevant choice, they choose the major which is easy to enter.
However
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, these jobs can be tedious and low-income, resulting in changing or working forever in a field they don’t prefer. Another possible reason for
this
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circumstance is not working in the field they don’t like.
According to
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the surveys of researchers, roughly 80 % of workers chose the occupation
due to
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parental decision.
For instance
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, a boy wanted to be a soldier,
whereas
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his
parents
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wanted him to be a doctor. As he grew up, he went on with the medical sphere, but with reluctance to the job. To address these challenges, several steps can be taken.
Firstly
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,
parents
Use synonyms
should identify the interests of their offspring, meaning they should give a chance to choose
the
Correct article usage
a
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job that they are capable of.
Then
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,
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
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a special course that shows the step-by-step navigation to the workplace. As they graduate
the
Change preposition
from the
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university, they probably achieve breakthroughs in their career, resulting in higher-income and efficiency , which is shown to society.
For instance
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, in countries like the US,
parents
Use synonyms
let them build their future by themselves , and it
showed
Wrong verb form
has shown
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potential benefits. In conclusion, changing the occupation stems from both
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of
interests
Check wording
interest
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and income.
However
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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up to the child to make a decision about their life

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task response
Answer both parts of the question. You explain reasons, but you do not clearly say if the good sides are more than the bad sides.
task response
Keep your main idea the same from start to end. In the first line, you say you will give solutions, but the task asks for reasons and if the good sides are more than the bad sides.
task response
Give a clear view on advantages and disadvantages in one full body paragraph. This will make your answer more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple topic sentences at the start of each paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not connect well. For example, the part about teenage time and deadlines is not very clear. Explain each step more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Link your examples more clearly to your main point. After each example, say why it supports your idea.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow the essay.
task response
You give some reasons for why young people change jobs, such as low pay and lack of interest.
task response
You use an example about parents choosing a job, and this makes your essay more real.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • values
  • fulfilling
  • benefits
  • motivator
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • climbing the career ladder
  • dynamic work environment
  • adaptability
  • opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • professional and personal lives
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