IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Now a days people make new friends through social networks and Internet chat groups. some people think this is good other think that face to face interaction is essential discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social
network
Use synonyms
 has evolved drastically over the years, being developed into an accessible function for the population around the globe and providing them with internet chatting,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes it easier than ever to
comminucate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 around the world.
Whilst
Use synonyms
 there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been significant debates about whether the
fast paced
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
 change of social
Use synonyms
network
Check wording
networks
show examples
 is
benefitable
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 or not,
this
Linking Words
 essay will demostrate it's main functions,
whilst
Use synonyms
 suggesting that interaction doesn't always have to be
Use synonyms
face to
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
face
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 and online chatting provides a genuine advantage for connection worldwide. Social
network
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 has been proven by critics to be
benefitable
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 lack social skills, are diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety and are not as advantaged
Use synonyms
whilst
Correct word choice
when
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 communicating. The internet chat groups that come with the
network
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 give you the opportunity to message to one other, make friends online and chat to them directly from your phone, the easiest it has ever been, making calls and even emails, which can
therefore
Linking Words
 be helpful for the people with disabilities who are not as priviledged to get involved in daily activities,
such
Linking Words
 as socialising outside and immersing themselves with
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 discussions.
However
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, talking to
others
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 online that you have not met before can be a severe risk and danger, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human nature should always be aware of
who
Correct pronoun usage
whom
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 they are immersing themselves with.
In contrast
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 to
this
Linking Words
, misinformation can be spread around
whilst
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 chatting online
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 you can be lied to directly in your
face
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 in seconds, your photos can get leaked to
others
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 you could be
impresonated
Correct your spelling
impersonated
. Online chatting can
also
Linking Words
 be addictive, and studies
further
Linking Words
 show that speaking
remotely all the time
Correct word order
all the time remotely
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 and having a screen time of more than 5 hours doesn't always have good outcomes, as the radiation from the screen is damaging, specially infants around.
In addition
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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internet
communicating
Replace the word
communication
 is helpful for those that dont have the chance to live with their family and friends.
This
Linking Words
 involves people
such
Linking Words
 as those that immigrated,
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are studying abroad or going on a trip or even a medical appointment abroad. Communicating online is
additionally
Linking Words
benefitable
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 with long-term goals,
such
Linking Words
 as economic policies between businesses, markets and countries, as you can sign
contract
Correct article usage
a contract
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easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 than ever. To make settlements between countries, it is vital for presidents and officials to interact
direclty
Correct your spelling
directly
, but during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
times of crisis
the
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,
show examples
 online interviews and
chanels
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channels
 can encourage
participations
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participation
show examples
 amongst the nation, and peace settlements could
therefore
Linking Words
 be implemented in a shorter time.
However
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages that come from minimally interacting outdoors and communicating
face
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 to
face
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, as
this
Linking Words
 can cause laziness amongst many individuals and can develop into insecurities,
such
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 as speaking to
others
Use synonyms
 without using social
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network
Check wording
networks
show examples
. In conclusion, social
network
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 has proven
itself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
show examples
 to be advantageous through
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 various forms of functions,
such
Linking Words
 as communicating online and making friends, watching movies without going to the cinema, getting interviewed for a job opportunity, messaging, writing emails
and
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,
show examples
 etc.
Whilst
Use synonyms
 it's vital for humans to communicate
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
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 for maximised interaction, it is
also
Linking Words
 not fair to say that online chatting has not been essential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online chatting is essential as it gives
others
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 the
opportunitiy
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to speak to one another, but it is suggested that interaction made
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 has different and long-lasting outcomes.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. You talk more about the good side than the bad side.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly in the introduction and keep it the same through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer very long sentences. Shorter sentences are easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it with a clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
task response
Some examples are too general. Add one real and clear example for each main point.
task response
You answer the topic and discuss both views.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You have many ideas about online communication and face-to-face contact.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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