IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Tourism
Use synonyms
 and its consequences
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a highly relevant topic nowadays and
discussed
Verb problem
are discussed
show examples
 frequently. It offers perks like financial stability
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 can lead to local challenges like
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of housing for local people. Were you to judge whether the impacts are mainly positive or negative
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
 would
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 find more positive effects. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
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 for many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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tourism
Use synonyms
 is by far the strongest sector of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. It increases the flow of money.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 countries like Spain, Italy
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 Greece gain a lot of their capital
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
. Not only
spend people
Correct word order
do people spend
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 their salary on hotel bookings and local transport
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they
also
Linking Words
will
Wrong verb form
apply
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participate in activities or visit famous sights that are often expensive. If the
touristic
Replace the word
tourism
 sector were to
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
, it would have negative consequences for the population of those countries.
Linking Words
Besides
Punctuation problem
Besides,
show examples
 the money earned by
tourism
Use synonyms
 can be invested in projects to protect the environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 provides a lot of jobs in places where it
normally would
Correct word order
would normally
show examples
 be difficult for inhabitants to find a job
due to
Linking Words
 infrastructural challenges.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
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tourism
Use synonyms
 is not only very beneficial to the city council because of financial perks but
also
Linking Words
 for locals. On
paradise-like
Correct article usage
a paradise-like
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 island like Mallorca or
Corfu
Add a comma
Corfu,
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 one will find a pretty dense infrastructure with little to no big companies offering the same amount of jobs as
tourism
Use synonyms
 does. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 it can be justified to argue that tourists bring more advantages than disadvantages in their suitcase. They give the economy an extreme boost and are a source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 jobs.
Were less people
Correct word order
If fewer people were
show examples
 to fly to those popular holiday destination it could have dramatic ramifications.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first part. Say clearly that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one full bad point, such as harm to nature or high prices for local people, and then explain why it is less strong.
task response
Give one more clear example for your ideas. This will make your answer stronger and more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few parts feel sudden, especially the short paragraph about the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Keep paragraph size more balanced. One paragraph is very short and looks underdeveloped.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that tourism has more good points than bad points.
task response
You include relevant examples like Spain, Italy, Greece, Mallorca, and Corfu.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a logical order, from money to jobs to the final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
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