The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
of
participants
Use synonyms
for six activities at one social
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in Melbourne, Australia
between
Punctuation problem
, between
show examples
2000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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of
participants
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in the
show examples
film club was the highest during the
period
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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of
participants
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
musical performances was the least.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
of individuals who joined
the
Correct article usage
apply
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amateur dramatics and martial
art
Check wording
arts
show examples
fluctuated during that interval,
while
Linking Words
the
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
of
participants
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
table tennis
was Jumped
Wrong verb form
jumped
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in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown, the
number
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of
participants
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in the
show examples
film club in 2000
start
Wrong verb form
started
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with 65
participants
Use synonyms
and remained stable
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
2020,
while
Linking Words
the
Use synonyms
participants of
Correct word order
number of participants in
show examples
musical performances
start
Wrong verb form
started
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in 2005 with no
participants
Use synonyms
at all
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
grew significantly to around 10 in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
then
Linking Words
increased steadily to 20 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of individuals who joined the table tennis stared in 2000 with around 15 people
then
Linking Words
fluctuated between 2005 to 2010 after that the
number
Use synonyms
was climbed sharply to 60 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
number
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of
participants
Use synonyms
to martial art and amateur dramatics fluctuated, amateur dramatics start with 25 people
then
Linking Words
dropped sharply to 9 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, number, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • activities
  • social centre
  • popular
  • decline
  • increase
  • trend
  • interest
  • introduced
  • participants
  • peak
  • creative
  • physical
  • compared
  • features
  • summarise
  • reporting
  • period
  • changed
  • growing
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