IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employers are giving increased importance to employing people with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that social
skills
Use synonyms
 and good qualifications are extremely important in society.
Although
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 some disagree with
this
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, I support
this
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 view
due to
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 various reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most obvious reasons is that social
skills
Use synonyms
 can result in cooperation, which is extremely significant in a corporation. To illustrate, if many
employees
Use synonyms
 have
skills
Use synonyms
 to coordinate with
others
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, they will be able to behave appropriately and help
others
Use synonyms
 in the workplace, which will have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 can help diverse departments to cooperate with
others
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 and communicate smoothly, and these have significantly important roles in the achievement of
enterprise
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the enterprise
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.
For example
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, colleagues who have problems at work can assist each other at times, which can lead to finishing their work more rapidly.
In addition
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, working and helping each other can make everyone stay longer in the workplace and understand each
coworker’s
Correct pronoun usage
other’s
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background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
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. Another point that should not be overlooked is that having social
skills
Use synonyms
 helps reduce conflicts. To clarify, some people have different ways of thinking from
others
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, which can cause misunderstandings. If many workers have the
skills
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 to coordinate with
others
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, it will help them to communicate effectively.
As a consequence
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, several conflicts can be easily resolved
..
Punctuation problem
.
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For instance
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,
according to
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 research conducted by KU, it reveals that when various firms
emphasize
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emphasise
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 hiring
employees
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 who have strong coordination
skills
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, they found that problems related to conflicts in corporations declined substantially to 65%, allowing
employees
Use synonyms
 to feel more comfortable and work more happily. To recapitulate, it is evident that social
skills
Use synonyms
 are essential because it results in better cooperation among
employees
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.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that social
skills
Use synonyms
 can help build connections, which can benefit the company.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. You say you agree, but you do not compare social skills with qualifications enough.
task response
Add one main idea about why qualifications are also important, then show why social skills are equal or more important.
task response
Your ideas are clear in general, but some points are repeated. Try to explain each main idea in a new way.
task response
Use more direct examples. The example about KU is not fully clear and may sound unreal.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences feel too long or not well joined.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. In some places, the next sentence does not grow naturally from the one before.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, such as first, also, for example, as a result, and in conclusion.
task response
You clearly show your opinion in the introduction.
task response
You give two main reasons for your view: teamwork and fewer conflicts.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main idea, which helps the reader follow your essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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