IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the average duration of housework women did (unemployed, part-time employed and full-time) when compared to men who had full-time work in the UK between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on chores by three categories of women in comparison to males who were employed full-
time
Use synonyms
 in the UK from 1985 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, women without jobs spent the most
time
Use synonyms
 on housework,
whereas
Linking Words
 those with full-
time
Use synonyms
 employment dedicated shorter durations to chores. Males with permanent work, contrastingly, accounted for the fewest
hours
Use synonyms
 over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, Part-
time
Use synonyms
 female workers and men
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 recorded an increase in duration,
whereas
Linking Words
 the unemployed female category averaged the same
time
Use synonyms
 throughout. With regards to the categories that logged the longest periods on tasks in the home, jobless women worked approximately 7
hours
Use synonyms
 daily in 1985, which dipped slightly to 6.5
hours
Use synonyms
 before recovering to 7
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
Similarly
Linking Words
, part-
time
Use synonyms
 female employees allocated longer periods for housework, climbing from 5.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1985 to 6
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005
Conversely
Linking Words
,the group of individuals who were hired permanently
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 had less
time
Use synonyms
 for domestic responsibilities. The females in
this
Linking Words
 group saw their figures increase from 2
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1985 to 2.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005,
while
Linking Words
 the males registered the lowest average of 1 hour at the beginning and 1.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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