IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two pie charts compare
employment
Use synonyms
 patterns in the UK in 1998 and 2012, broken down by gender and whether people worked full-time or part-time.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 in full-time work made up the largest proportion in both years,
although
Linking Words
 their share declined slightly over time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time
employment
Use synonyms
 increased noticeably. Part-time work remained more common among
women
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 in both years, with only minor changes. In 1998,
men
Use synonyms
 working full-time accounted for 53% of total
employment
Use synonyms
, far exceeding any other category.
Women
Use synonyms
 in part-time jobs represented 22%, followed by
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time roles at 19%.
Men
Use synonyms
 working part-time made up the smallest group at just 6%. In terms of numbers, the total workforce stood at 23,839 (in thousands), with over 12.5 million
men
Use synonyms
 employed full-time. By 2012, the distribution had become more balanced. The proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 in full-time work fell to 47%,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time
employment
Use synonyms
 rose significantly to 26%.
Women
Use synonyms
 working part-time saw a slight decrease to 20%,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 in part-time roles edged up to 7%. The
overall
Linking Words
 workforce
also
Linking Words
 grew considerably to 29,600 (in thousands), reflecting increases across all categories, particularly among
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time positions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • economic landscape
  • information technology
  • service industry
  • manufacturing
  • agriculture
  • sector shift
  • healthcare sector
  • public administration
  • education sector
  • advancements in technology
  • traditional industries
  • modern sectors
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