IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts compare
employment
Use synonyms
 patterns in the UK in 1998 and 2012, broken down by gender and whether people worked full-time or part-time.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 in full-time work made up the largest proportion in both years,
although
Linking Words
 their share declined slightly over time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time
employment
Use synonyms
 increased noticeably. Part-time work remained more common among
women
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 in both years, with only minor changes. In 1998,
men
Use synonyms
 working full-time accounted for 53% of total
employment
Use synonyms
, far exceeding any other category.
Women
Use synonyms
 in part-time jobs represented 22%, followed by
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time roles at 19%.
Men
Use synonyms
 working part-time made up the smallest group at just 6%. In terms of numbers, the total workforce stood at 23,839 (in thousands), with over 12.5 million
men
Use synonyms
 employed full-time. By 2012, the distribution had become more balanced. The proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 in full-time work fell to 47%,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time
employment
Use synonyms
 rose significantly to 26%.
Women
Use synonyms
 working part-time saw a slight decrease to 20%,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 in part-time roles edged up to 7%. The
overall
Linking Words
 workforce
also
Linking Words
 grew considerably to 29,600 (in thousands), reflecting increases across all categories, particularly among
women
Use synonyms
 in full-time positions.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • economic landscape
  • information technology
  • service industry
  • manufacturing
  • agriculture
  • sector shift
  • healthcare sector
  • public administration
  • education sector
  • advancements in technology
  • traditional industries
  • modern sectors
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