IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a great variety of social networking websites, people often add complete strangers to their friend lists. Do you think that this tendency helps people to find new friends or is it just a mean to increase their self-esteem? Justify your opinion with relevant examples.

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use social
midia
Correct your spelling
media
 significantly in both views, as it is the easiest and
convenient
Rephrase
most convenient
show examples
 way to find new friends
as well as
Linking Words
 increase
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will give relevant
evidences
Check wording
evidence
show examples
 to
proof
Replace the word
prove
 my opinion. In the case of finding new
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
, the innovations play a crucial role in bringing the community together, because they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no longer need to interact with each other face to face.
For example
Linking Words
, many platforms offer an accessible way for
people
Use synonyms
 to
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of conversation, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy situations to introduce new friends.
Thus
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, there are no
bariers
Correct your spelling
barriers
 between societies
axcept
Correct your spelling
except
 the distances as they are in different countries. To clarify, I have met my friend from the USA
troughout
Correct your spelling
through
 the famous application, and we
consistently
Verb problem
have consistently
show examples
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 in touch for years. The only thing that blocked us from meeting each other
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the
distances
Check wording
distance
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, using
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to increase self-esteem is considered to be one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 still
scrolling
Wrong verb form
scroll
show examples
 through social media. Even though
people
Use synonyms
 need to verify their identity, it is no
nessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 reason to expose themselves on the internet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have currage to post their thoughts freely and publicly. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, individuals who don't brave
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
 to speak in front of the audiences because they are scared of eyes staring at them,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
opposite side
Check wording
other hand
show examples
, they don't have to
concern
Verb problem
worry
show examples
 about those eyes when they want to post their speech on the internet. To
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarise
, using social networking websites can be both reasons
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 finding new friends and increasing self-esteem, depending on how
people
Use synonyms
 use it.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first part. Say more strongly if you think people add strangers more for new friends, more for self-esteem, or both.
task response
Develop each main idea with one clear reason and one clear example. Some ideas are good, but they need more detail.
task response
Use examples that match the question more closely. Your USA friend example is helpful, but the self-esteem part needs a more direct example.
coherence cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer at the start of each body paragraph. This helps the reader follow your main point.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of ideas is not always clear.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence connection and referencing. A few words like 'thus', 'therefore', and 'on the other hand' are used, but sometimes the meaning after them is not fully clear.
task response
You answer both sides of the question, so your essay is complete.
task response
You give a real example about meeting a friend online, and this supports your point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use linking words like 'for example' and 'on the other hand', which helps the flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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