Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?

In the contemporary era, professional
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
is often regarded as a luxury in some developing nations.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the causative factors behind the scenario and explain its
important
Replace the word
importance
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, one of the main reasons for
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
can be seen as a luxury
is
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
the intense competition in the market.
This
Linking Words
is because
job
Use synonyms
opportunities are limited compared to the number of individuals looking for a
job
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are looking for a
job
Use synonyms
to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their basic needs
instead
Linking Words
of finding a
job
Use synonyms
with a friendly environment.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous studies show that people are struggling to find a
job
Use synonyms
in developing nations,
such
Linking Words
as India, where they often have to forget about
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I contend that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
is mandatory. Not only can employers enhance their productivity, but they can
also
Linking Words
mitigate mental issues,
such
Linking Words
as stress, anxiety, and depression. Happier workers are more likely to concentrate on their work, which can reduce their
pressure
Check wording
stress
show examples
. Eventually,
this
Linking Words
phenomenon can diminish staff turnover and ensure long-term stability.
For example
Linking Words
, big firms,
such
Linking Words
as Google
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and Facebook
always
Punctuation problem
, always
show examples
ensure that their workers are satisfied with their
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, so that they can remain more focused on their commitments. Ultimately, the suicide rate is
also
Linking Words
neglected in
such
Linking Words
companies.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though stiff competition is the main reason which can force people to think that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
is a luxury, I believe that it is quite beneficial.
This
Linking Words
notion can ameliorate the performance of workers and alleviate their mental problems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why job happiness is a luxury, but you give only one main reason. Add one more reason.
task response
Make your ideas more clear. Some lines are hard to understand, like 'explain its important' and 'the suicide rate is also neglected'. Use simple and direct words.
task response
Use examples that fit better. Google and Facebook are not in developing countries, so this example is not the best for this topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some jumps are too fast. Add clear topic sentences and explain each point step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point more. The first body paragraph needs one more clear reason or result.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your position is clear: you think job satisfaction is important.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
Look at other essays: