IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below shows the percentage of water used for the different purposes in six areas of the world

The pie charts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 distribution in six continents of the world, and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 the different areas where the
water
Use synonyms
 is being used.
Overall
Linking Words
, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 is the location with the most and least use of
water
Use synonyms
 amongst all areas,
while
Linking Words
domestic
Correct article usage
the domestic
show examples
 sector has the least need for
water
Use synonyms
. In agriculture, Europe uses less
water
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the percentage of 32%, followed by North
America
Use synonyms
 with 39%,
then
Linking Words
 South
America
Use synonyms
 uses 71%, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 81% of
water
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Africa
accounts
Correct subject-verb agreement
account
show examples
 for the majority of clear fluid usage with 84% and 88% respectively. Domestic use of
water
Use synonyms
 is minimal across all distribution
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 sharing
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 proportion of 7% each, next to them is Africa with 9%,
then
Linking Words
 North
America
Use synonyms
 with 13%, followed with Europe 15%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 South
America
Use synonyms
 having the largest share of 18%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Industrial use of
water
Use synonyms
 is
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the median level of all continents. It is greatly used in Europe at 53%, in North
America
Use synonyms
 with 48%, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 uses 12
%
Punctuation problem
%,
show examples
followed by South
America
Use synonyms
 with 10%, and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the least proportion of 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, asia, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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