The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The bar chart illustrates a country's
earnings
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
exporting different products in the
year
Use synonyms
of 2015 and 2016.
Along with
Linking Words
a table which shows the percentage difference in values of various
categories
Use synonyms
the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the export
earnings
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demonstrate the
increase
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in values in all
categories
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the next
year
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, except for a small dip in gems and jewellery, at 5.18%1. Textiles
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
percentage change in values
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to the previous
year
Use synonyms
, at 15.24%
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
amount of money was earned by exporting petroleum products with more than 70
billions of
Check wording
billion
show examples
dollars
Punctuation problem
dollars,
show examples
even though it was one of the smallest
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increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
in
categories
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compared to the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. Another smallest
increase
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in
earnings
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was in
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
products, with only 0.81%. Leaving with engineering goods, which are the second highest
earnings
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not only among
categories
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but
also
Linking Words
compared to the
last
Linking Words
Use synonyms
year
Check wording
year's
show examples
earnings
Use synonyms
, with 8.5%
increase
Use synonyms
and more than 60
billions of
Check wording
billion
show examples
dollars.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words earnings, year, categories, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • exports
  • categories
  • value
  • percentage change
  • compare
  • trends
  • changes
  • chart
  • table
  • overview
  • introduce
  • highlight
  • describe
  • summarize
  • information
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