Many small businesses today are being forced to close because they are unable compete with huge malls and mega stores. What problems does this cause and how can this problem be solved?

The business
industry
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today has a variety of different sectors. Within
this
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industry
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industry,
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there are multiple competitions between different brands. Simple
businesses
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are forced
for closure
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to close
, because of the rivalry with known brands and malls.
As a result
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,
problems
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are caused
because of
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by
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obligating small
businesses
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to close.
This
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essay will discuss
this
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issue and both the
problems
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it causes and
solutions
Correct article usage
the solutions
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to it. On the one hand, one of the major
problems
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of forcing small
businesses
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to leave the
market
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is
boycott
Correct article usage
the boycott
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.
Firstly
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, people will be upset and eventually start to protest against
this
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. When societies gather to protest against
this
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rule,they will raise awareness.
Secondly
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, the community of the
country
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will start to boycott huge stores and enormous malls to save small
businesses
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.
In other words
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, the economy of
this
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certain
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apply
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country
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might be in danger.
Finally
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, the
country
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will start to turn into chaos.
For instance
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, a
country
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named Malta applied those same obligations
on
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to
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new
businesses
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, and it caused
their
Correct determiner usage
the
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country
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’s economy, reputation, and business to significantly decrease.
On the other hand
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, a fast and efficient solution can be government involvement.
To begin
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with, the
market
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entry and exit can be
only controlled
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controlled only
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by the government.
Therefore
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, governments should manage the
industry
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by putting regulations
.
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in place.
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For example
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, governments can start allowing small firms to enter the
market
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and compete against bigger ones.
Moreover
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, governments should start giving back to
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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society and people.
For example
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, starting to give civilians a small amount of money as a push for them to enter the
market
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.
Furthermore
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, countries should apply strict policies on
whoever tries
Correct pronoun usage
those who try
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to block small brands from entering.
As a result
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, people will no longer feel limited
with
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by
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market
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trends and be satisfied with the rules. In conclusion, marketing is a huge
industry
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, and it can face many
problems
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caused by it.
However
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, there are multiple solutions to these challenges. Huge competition doesn’t necessarily mean small competitors aren’t able to compete. It only takes management and control to settle issues like these.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say the problems very clearly, then give clear fixes.
task response
Your main ideas are there, but some are not fully explained. Add why each problem happens and how each fix works.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. Some examples now feel too general or not fully true.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas do not link in a natural way. Make sure one sentence leads well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are repeated or go too far from the main topic, like protest and chaos. Stay close to the question.
task response
You answered both the problems and the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing well, with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Moreover'.
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