IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resource, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.

In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate about whether people should continue
use
Verb problem
to use
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 fossil
fuels
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 or
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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replace them with other environmentally friendly
resources
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.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I understand the importance of oil, gas and coal, I strongly believe that maintaining and developing alternative
energy
Use synonyms
resources
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 is far more beneficial, as they carry environmental value and can bring long-term economic advantages. One major reason to use renewable
resources
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,
such
Linking Words
 as wind and solar
power
Punctuation problem
power,
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 is that they contribute to the conservation of the
environment
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. More specifically, natural
resources
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 don't contaminate
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, as they release lower gas emissions than fossil
fuels
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, air and water
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 cleaner
and
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, and
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 people live for more years. A recent research
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 has shown that people who live in countries that use sustainable
energy
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 have a better quality of life.
Appart
Correct your spelling
Apart
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental protection, alternative
energy
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resources
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 help
fiancially
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financially
 the society. Another strong argument for preservation is the economic value
that is
Linking Words
 generated. Renewable
energy
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 is far cheaper than fossil
fuels
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, because it is created naturally and
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 by the
environment
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can help governments to save money for investment purposes
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example.
However
Linking Words
, it works better in countries with more sunny or windy weather
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it is essential for a long-term balance.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
enviromentally
Correct your spelling
environmentally
 friendly practices
strengthens
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthen
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 biodiversity, as the variety of plants and animals
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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. In conclusion, cities should prioritise the preservation of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 because they provide environmental identity and long-term economic benefits.
While
Linking Words
 fossil
fuels
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 are important,
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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 should not come at the expense of irreplaceable conservation of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add more direct and real examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully, so each main point has a clear reason and result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts feel sudden or not fully connected.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph stay on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some lines are hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion and you keep it in most of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are about the environment and money, which fit the topic well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Climate change
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Economic collapse
  • Sustainable development
  • Energy transition
  • Green technology
  • Carbon footprint
  • Long-term benefits
  • Energy efficiency
  • Job creation
  • Solar panels
  • Wind turbines
  • Global warming
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy security
  • Environmental degradation
  • Alternative resources
  • Economic sustainability
  • Clean energy
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