IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing concern for many people around the world is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 main goal of
science
Use synonyms
 is to
develop
Verb problem
improve
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 people’s
life quality of not
Correct word order
quality of life
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. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that people’s life improvement is the main purpose of
science
Use synonyms
. First of all, I believe that the development of
science
Use synonyms
 helps people in every way. Nowadays we live in a modern society with only revolutionary updated
science
Use synonyms
. The updated electronic gadgets like smartphones, laptops and other machines make our lives easier and save time and effort. Now we can manage easy solutions by taking the help of
science
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in ancient times, people were infected with many kinds of diseases
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they died from
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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. They were very helpless
in
Change preposition
at
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 that time. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 today, all of our citizens know how to prevent it.
Science
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 and technology are highly advanced now. Some scientists invented the vaccine to secure our lives.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
science
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Linking Words
also
Verb problem
has also
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 developed many technologies that can
be
Verb problem
help us be
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 aware of climate change.
For instance
Linking Words
,
science
Use synonyms
 alerts us that floods will occur at that time, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 we can reduce the loss and save our lives by taking several initiatives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
science
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 enriches our resources
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can help our farmers because scientists invented highly
produced
Replace the word
productive
 crops and
fertilizers
Change the spelling
fertilisers
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. So that farmers can produce huge crops from shorter lengths of land by using updated techniques and technology.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the real intention of
science
Use synonyms
 is to benefit our community. We already saw many positive impacts of
science
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we are eagerly waiting to discover new things to make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 better.

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task response
Make your main idea more clear in the first line. Say the topic in a more direct way.
task response
Answer both parts of the question all the time. You agree, but you can also say why some people may not agree, then show why your view is stronger.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. Some examples are good, but they can be more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word choice because some lines are hard to follow.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the first part and keep it to the end.
task response
You cover more than one way science helps people, such as health, weather, and farming.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like First of all, In addition, Furthermore, and To conclude.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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