The two pie charts show online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The following two pie charts illustrate the proportions of online shopping
sales
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for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.
Overall
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, the
sales
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for every single retail sector increased over time, except for those for electronics and appliances. To start with, the retail
sales
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of electronics and appliances in 2005 were 35% before dropping a little to 30% in 2010. In terms of food and beverage, the
sales
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of
this
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type of goods clearly increased from 22% in 2005 to 32% in 2010. Regarding home furnishings, the percentage of the total
sales
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dropped by 10% — from 25% in 2005 to 15% in 2010.
Finally
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, in 2005, video games weren't that popular
given
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, given
show examples
that the purchase amount accounted for only at 18%.
However
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, in 2010, the purchases of video games rose by 5% — from 18% to 23% in five years’ time.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail sectors
  • online shopping sales
  • significant growth/decline
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • sales percentages
  • emerged
  • evolution
  • notable
  • constancies
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