Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that products manufactured with high levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

should be made expensive so that

people

Use synonyms

consume less

sugar

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay totally

disagree

Correct subject-verb agreement

disagrees

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

. I believe that public awareness is the best course of action to take

instead

Linking Words

of increasing the price. No matter how high the price is, there's always be a group of

people

Use synonyms

who will be able to afford high sugary items. So rather than the huge price hike, making

people

Use synonyms

consious about their

health

Use synonyms

should be the main focus.

This

Linking Words

can be achived by taking some simple measures.

Initially

Linking Words

, by arranging seminars on the high

health

Use synonyms

risk of consuming sugary items.

Next,

Linking Words

advertising the various

health

Use synonyms

problem associate with it.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, teaching the demerits of sugary item to the students from the very early age. These steps all are proven throughout the period in many region.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent report shows that only by advertising the detrimental impact of taking

sugar

Use synonyms

, reduced the consume rates by 4 percent.

Additionally

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

tend to change their

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

only when they know the side effects of it.

For instance

Linking Words

, a person who smoke ciggerates a lot

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

won't

leave it

Verb problem

quit

show examples

until he

know's

Verb problem

knows

show examples

the serious

health

Use synonyms

issue comes with it.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

only public awareness can make a dramatic change in the

consume

Replace the word

consumption

rates of sugary items. It should be the sole purpose of the government and the board in power to take all the needed procedure to decrease the

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

rate. In conclusion, it is very crucial to create

self awareness

Correct your spelling

self-awareness

in order to reduce the

consume

Replace the word

consumption

rate of products containing high levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

shahriar.eu.cse59

Apr 10, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make your main view more clear from the start. Write: 'This essay totally disagrees' not 'This essay totally disagree.'

task response

Add one more strong reason for your view. Now, most of your essay talks about public awareness, but it does not fully show why a higher price would not work.

task response

Use examples that are more direct and clear. The smoking example is close, but an example about sugar would fit better.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some lines jump fast from one point to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Check paragraph unity. In body paragraph 1, keep one main idea and explain it fully before you move on.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words well, like 'First,' 'Also,' 'As a result,' and 'In conclusion.'

task response

You answer the question clearly and give your view from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You try to support your ideas with examples and results.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There can be little doubt that in many low-income nations, individuals face death from curable diseases due to a lack of medications. Therefore, pharmaceutical companies should decrease the price of medications. This essay argues that it is unnecessary to lower the price of pharmaceuticals in many low-income nations because of the profit of drug companies and funding for future medical research.
8
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The debate on whether competition is useful for work or study environments is a rising one, Since a huge number of people disagree with that, claiming that cooperating should be implemented in these areas instead. I believe both of these approaches are valid to some extent. Therefore, I will mention how motives advocate for competition, while easiness is cooperating's most appealing benefit.
7.5
band
Space tourism is only the privilege of the rich, and it should be totally got rid of. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While space journey currently remains accessible only to the affluent, I disagree with the notion that it should be eliminated entirely. Instead, this nascent industry deserves support as a catalyst for technological advancement and eventual democratisation of space travel.
7
band
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
The population is divided in two, some people mainly the elderly, think that we should behave in a traditional manner and others think that it would be not helpful to prepare the next generation for the future. This essay totally agrees with the idea that we should live, think and behave in a traditional way. I believe that parents should educate their children a bit the hard way on different points. Also in traditional education, there is generally the religion that is also important.
6.5
band
Over-reliance on modern technology means that people are failing to learn, or are forgetting, many basic skills. “To what extent is this true? Are people becoming so reliant on modern technology that they are no longer able to do some things without it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The assertion that over-reliance on modern technology is causing a decline in basic skills is a complex one with considerable truth to it. While technology undeniably offers immense convenience and efficiency, its pervasive integration into our lives can lead to a weakening of fundamental abilities we once relied upon. This essay will argue that while technology offers benefits, there is a discernible trend of people becoming increasingly dependent on it, potentially at the expense of essential life skills.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Space tourism is only the privilege of the rich, and it should be totally got rid of. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?