IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

bad situation unstability finantial
shortage
Punctuation problem
shortage,
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 try
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 career
promot
Correct your spelling
promotion
sticking
Fix capitalization
Sticking
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 in the same
job
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 individuals to plan for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 futures
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 starting a family or buying a house.
this
Linking Words
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stay in the same
job
Use synonyms
 even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 is unsatisfactory or
low
Verb problem
has a low
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salary
Use synonyms
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 argue that a person should try
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 in order
of
Change preposition
to
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 improve the situation. I tend to believe that it is an important step to look
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic from both perspectives
an
Correct word choice
and
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then
Linking Words
 express my opinion with relevant examples. On the one hand, in
this
Linking Words
 competitive world
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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 a
job
Use synonyms
 is something exceptional, so many
people
Use synonyms
 stick with the same
job
Use synonyms
entire
Change preposition
for their entire
show examples
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
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lives, and stay far from the risks
such
Linking Words
 as losing
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
.
Moreove
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, sticking in the same
job
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 individuals to plan for their futures
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 starting a family or purchasing a house.
In addition
Linking Words
, staying in the same
job
Use synonyms
 helps an individual gain
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
show examples
 experience and
also
Linking Words
 helps to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
. A study in 2024
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that 65% of
people
Use synonyms
 prefeare stable, predictable income and
consistend
Correct your spelling
consistent
 benefits
such
Linking Words
 as
retirenment
Correct your spelling
retirement
 contributions and insurance make it
easer
Correct your spelling
easier
 to make
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
 plans
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 instance
purchasing
Punctuation problem
, purchasing
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house
Correct article usage
a house
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 or
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 a family.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is better to move to another
job
Use synonyms
 seeking
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 or better situations. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a good
salary
Use synonyms
 leads to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life.
Also
Linking Words
, striking a good career reflect on personal satisfaction, which
makes
Verb problem
brings
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 happiness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, seeking a good
job
Use synonyms
 despite the risks
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
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 with
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
job
Correct determiner usage
one job
show examples
 to another
Use synonyms
job
Check wording
apply
show examples
with a higher income provides
finantial secutiry
Correct your spelling
financial security
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction plays a vital role in
productivety
Correct your spelling
productivity
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to stay at the same
job
Use synonyms
 even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 feel
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
 rather than search for
other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. I tend to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that moving to
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 for
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 or
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 productive environment is a significant
movement
Replace the word
move
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Write one clear main idea for each side and explain it well.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use more clear examples. Your study example is not fully clear and feels general.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point, then add a reason and example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because some lines are hard to follow.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are relevant to the topic, like job safety, planning for the future, and better pay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Resilience
  • Secure
  • Inevitability
  • Struggles
  • Personal growth
  • Fulfillment
  • Adjusting expectations
  • Problem-solving
  • Skill enhancement
  • Steady income
  • Risk versus reward
  • Long-term goals
  • Striving
  • Challenging the status quo
What to do next:
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