In many countries, more and more people are choosing to work from home. Some people think this is a positive development, while others believe it causes problems for both workers and employers." Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In recent years, many people prefer
the
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online
working
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work
. Some individuals believe that
this
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option has many advantages.
However
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, others think it causes various difficulties for both the worker and his/her boss.I strongly think that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. On
one
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the one
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hand,
the
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remote work has a variety of benefits. One benefit to consider is that workers feel comfortable
to work
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working
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from
their houses
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home
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, so they can wear casual clothes
instead
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of wearing elegant suits.
In addition
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, they do not need to spend more money on public transport,which allows them to improve their financial condition.
Also
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, some workers claim that
the
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productivity has increased when they were working online.
Furthermore
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,
this
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type of
working
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work
gives them an opportunity to maintain the work-life balance.
On the other hand
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, many bosses are unhappy with some disadvantages of working online.The major obstacle is that
the
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delays in tasks might happen
,
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because they cannot directly monitor and guide the employees.
As a result
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, that will make the process of completing missions significantly complicated.
Moreover
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, the lack of interaction in online work may cause some social issues in the long-term.
For example
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, during the
COVID 19
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COVID-19
pandemic
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pandemic,
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many people were suffering from depression and anxiety
due to
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the long distance
with
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from
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each other and the lack of real communication. In conclusion, working from home has remarkable advantages and makes the process of working much easier.
Although
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,
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it might affect the relationships between individuals, which leads to mental problems , so people must know how to maintain a balanced lifestyle in order to avoid these possible problems.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. You wrote both views, but the good side has more support than the bad side.
task response
Give your opinion again in the end in a very clear way. Your end is a bit mixed.
task response
Add one more clear example for the problems side.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences that are short and clear at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, so, for example, and as a result, but do not join too many ideas in one long line.
coherence and cohesion
Make each idea follow the last one more smoothly. Some parts move too fast.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used a real example about COVID-19, which helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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