IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The pie chart and line graph illustrate what mainly uses
electricity
Use synonyms
 and what is the demand in England between winter and summer.
Overall
Linking Words
, the line graph shows how much
use units of
Correct word order
electricity is used
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in England. In winter, we see
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the stability start and end of the period. It is clearly seen that
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more
electricity
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
is used in
show examples
 winter than
summer
Change preposition
in summer
show examples
. The pie chart demonstrates what is
for using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
. Large parts
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 for heating rooms and water,
it's
Correct pronoun usage
which is
show examples
 a significant difference
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: