In many developing nations, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

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In different developing countries, the rush to
industrialization
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industrialisation
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has
reulted
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resulted
in major problems with
air
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and water quality. Contamination of
air
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and water sources promotes environmental harm
on
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to
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both human and animal well-being.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the problems of
this
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issue before suggesting some realistic solutions. One of the main problems is
air
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pollution, which may make people become sick
and
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or
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even
dead
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die
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.
For example
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, A student who is born after
industrialization
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industrialisation
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can suffer serious illness related to breathing, which can lead to inconvenience in their daily life. Another problem is toxic substances that are released from
the
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apply
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industrial factories. Ingredients from water,
such
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as
fishes
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fish
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or
seaweeds
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seaweeds,
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can contain these hazardous chemicals even when people consume them.
This
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contaminated
air
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can be a potential threat to future generations. Hopefully, there are certain solutions to deal with these dangerous situations.
First,
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imposing
tax
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a tax
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for discharging waste.
For instance
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, companies which have to pay for waste may try to decrease their dangerous litter to reduce their expenditure.
This
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payment helps the governments use them to keep the environment clean. Another way to
sovle
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solve
this
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issue is
that making
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to make
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individuals and governments all over the world
realize
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realise
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the importance of nature by giving them associated education.
This
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allows employees and students to have responsibilities to manage nature in both daily life and professional life. In conclusion,
although
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rapid
industrialization
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industrialisation
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in developing countries is
growing
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a growing
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concern, I believe there are some ways to overcome these challenging situations,
such
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as increased
tax
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taxes
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and emphasization of protecting nature.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You write about problems and solutions, but some ideas are short.
task response
Use clearer examples. Your examples are linked to the topic, but they are not very specific.
task response
Explain each main idea a bit more. This will make your response more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Link some sentences more smoothly. At times, the flow feels jumpy.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer so each paragraph has one strong main point.
task response
You answer the question and include both problems and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly shows what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion is present and matches your main ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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