Some people say that companies who sponsor big games can gain a lot; other people believe that it has disadvantages for them. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Many individuals believe that sponsoring sports by
companies
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helps more in earning,
however
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, others opine that
this
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comes with some drawbacks.
Although
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often
this
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arrangement works in the long term , which makes them ineffective, I believe
by
Correct word choice
that
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sponsoring
game
Correct article usage
a game
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, which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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results in not only
companies
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earning more, but
also
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boosts jobs for the locals. On the one hand, people opine that making long term
contract
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between
companies
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and
gamemanagement
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gamemanager
leads to ineffectiveness.
This
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is because now mostly people get bored easily with one thing , and by watching the same
games
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and
companies
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' logos are not liked by them in the long term. A hefty amount of
contract
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which decrease their profits and
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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tension between their
contract
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.
For example
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, in India, domestic
games
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have been mostly sponsored by the local
companies
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for more than 5 years, which makes the audience more bored because nothing new is coming
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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not many people
view
Verb problem
watch
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their
games
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. I think sponsoring
games
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have better opportunity.
On the other hand
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,
this
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partnership boosts their earnings
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and
also
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increases the job opportunities.
This
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is to say that more activities like
games
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such
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as Cricket, Football, and Hockey, easily attract the attention of the population because they have their intrest in favourite sports persons. If they come to buy tickets to view their matches , which increases their income for the management
as well as
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sponsor
companies
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also
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improve their customers by using logos on the players' dresses.
For instance
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, in India, by organising IPL
companies
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and hosting earn huge money from the advertisements and tickets.
According to
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me , by organising these
games
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, many job opportunities for locals ,
such
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as hotels, food shops, and local transports, which give a chance to earn more. In conclusion,
although
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these
contract
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results in not successful in the long run, I think sponsoring these
games
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earns high returns for both parties and give opportunity to locals earn more.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. The first side is a bit weak.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should have one strong point.
task response
Give examples that are more direct and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a clearer order. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many commas. Split them into shorter sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used a clear essay shape with introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You added examples about India and IPL, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion matches your main opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • brand exposure
  • viewership
  • prime opportunity
  • corporate sponsorship
  • foster
  • positive association
  • consumer perception
  • brand loyalty
  • financial cost
  • return on investment
  • profitable
  • financial burden
  • negative association
  • controversy
  • doping scandals
  • lucrative marketing move
  • upfront costs
  • potential risks
  • consumer loyalty
  • financial resources
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