Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some believe that
students
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should be allowed to learn whatever they like in college. Meanwhile, others argue that they should only be allowed to study STEM, since these
subjects
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tend to be more useful in the long run.
While
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allowing
students
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to freely choose their
subjects
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can help them enjoy their university years, I believe that it is better to limit their choices to certain
subjects
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, since it will greatly help them achieve financial security in the future. When
students
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are allowed to pick
majors
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based on their passions, they tend to enjoy going to university more
,
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apply
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and are less likely to experience stress and
burnouts
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burnout
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throughout their studies.
This
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is important because it greatly impacts their performance in college. Research shows that
students
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who enjoy what they study are far less prone to fail their classes, compared
who
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to those who
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don’t.
However
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, many
students
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who pick
majors
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based on passion do it impulsively without realising it, which can cause problems along the way, especially if the
majors
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they end up choosing don’t align with their expectations. On the other side,
students
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whose parents limit their options on
subjects
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tend to get jobs
easier
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more easily
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after they graduate, leading them to achieve financial security faster.
This
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is especially true in today’s society, where the job industry is increasingly competitive. In Indonesia,
for example
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, workers who get paid above the average
people
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person
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often took science and technology
majors
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in college. I believe that
this
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is the better approach, as financial security
also
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leads to an
overall
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better life. In conclusion,
while
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allowing
students
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to study whatever they like might help them enjoy their studies more, limiting their choices to certain
subjects
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is a better approach as it will help them get
stable
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a stable
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income in the future.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your opinion. This is good. But your ideas need a little more depth. Explain why freedom of choice helps society, not only students.
task response
For task response, some claims are too general, like STEM always gives better pay. Add a more careful idea or a wider view.
task response
For task response, your example about Indonesia is useful, but it is a bit too broad. Give a more exact example or explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, one side, other side, conclusion. This helps the reader.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some links are good, like 'On the other side' and 'In conclusion'. But you can use more clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, one sentence is not smooth: 'compared who don’t'. Fix small grammar and word choice problems because they can make the flow less clear.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the second body paragraph starts with parents limiting choices, but the essay topic is about what students should be allowed to study. Keep the focus closer to the question.
task response
For task response, you discuss both views and clearly show your own opinion from the start.
task response
For task response, your main idea is easy to understand: interest helps study life, but useful subjects may help work life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your introduction and conclusion are both present and match each other well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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