IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the number of activities enjoyed by
male
Check wording
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 of different employment
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
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, from 1998 to 19999.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
 and retired people spent
time
Use synonyms
 in different activities in
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
equally,
while
Linking Words
 employed
full
Correct your spelling
full-time
time
Use synonyms
 spent the lowest
figurs
Correct your spelling
figures
 in their spare
time
Use synonyms
. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no part-
time
Use synonyms
 working men
as well as
Linking Words
 househusbands. Taking a closer look at, both unemployment and retired enjoyed spending
time
Use synonyms
 by males and females by approximately 80 and 78 during the week.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of hours spent by employed
full
Correct your spelling
full-time
time
Use synonyms
 decreased by men at 50
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it declined in
Correct article usage
the women
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women
Check wording
women's
show examples
section
Punctuation problem
section,
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reached at
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 38 over the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of hours that
spent
Verb problem
are spent
show examples
 by women recorded at 55 by housewives in a week,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 women
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 employed part
time
Use synonyms
 spent
time
Use synonyms
 in their free
time
Use synonyms
rougly
Correct your spelling
roughly
 at 42 throughout the period.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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