Many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe grandparents can take care of their children, while others think t=childcare centres are better. discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Some families have both parents working. A lot of working parents think
grandparents
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may take care of their
children
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,
while
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others think
childcare
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centers
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centres
show examples
are better. In my opinion, I agree with some
point
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points
show examples
and I
disgree
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disagree
with others. To
begain
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begin
with,
grandparents
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are helpful for
children
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.
Grandparents
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are really importnant for
children
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since the kids can learn a lots of things from and they will teach them how they can be a good man or a good girls,
although
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, if the
children
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make a mistakes or do something wrong they can be punished and
this
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is making them a good person,
for example
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, when I was child when my parnets go out I used to stay in my
grandparents
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and I learnt many things from them and the tought me how I can be a good man in my life and
this
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was realy useful for me. Some
grandparents
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are old
so
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, so
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they can'
t
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take care of
children
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and
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, and
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they can'
t
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play with them
,
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.
show examples
For example
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, if they heat each other or they are sick
, so
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apply
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, some
grandparents
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cannot go to the hospital, because they don'
t
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have any power.
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on
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On
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the other hand,
some times
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sometimes
childcare
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is good for kids.
First,
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childcare
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has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good people
,
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apply
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who can take care
for
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of
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them,
although
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,
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it
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is a safe place and they will enjoy there,
for example
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, when I was a
kid
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kid,
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my mother used to put me in a
childcare
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and
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, and
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I had a good teacher
,
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. Also
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also
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, I
mad a
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made
some
freindship
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friendships
.
Second,
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some
childcare
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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too expensive or far away
and
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, and
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some
family
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families
show examples
don'
t
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have enough money
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
this
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is
realy
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really
hard for them. In
coclusion
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conclusion
,
Grandparents
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are helpful and very important for kids. Some
childcare
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are
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is
show examples
good for
children
Use synonyms
and has a good teacher and atmosphere.

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task response
For task response: answer all parts in a clear way. You discuss both sides, but your opinion is not fully clear all through the essay. Say your view in a simple direct sentence and keep it the same in the body.
task response
For task response: develop each main idea more. Some ideas are good, but they need more clear support. Add one clear reason and one simple example for each body paragraph.
task response
For task response: use more exact examples. Your personal examples help, but some parts are not specific enough. Try to explain how grandparents help and how child care centers help in daily life.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has basic paragraphing, which is good, but some sentences are very long and hard to follow. Make shorter sentences.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: link ideas in a simple and clear way. Use words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion in the right place.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: check word order and grammar because some parts stop the flow of ideas. Clear grammar helps the reader follow your meaning.
task response
For task response: you discuss both grandparents and child care centers, so you answer the main question.
task response
For task response: you give personal examples, and this makes your ideas more real.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: you use some linking words such as for example, first, second, and in conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional bond
  • communication
  • family history
  • flexible
  • fixed hours
  • availability
  • structured environment
  • trained professionals
  • educational development
  • social development
  • planned activities
  • stimulating environment
  • individual attention
  • personalized care
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